Parenting is difficult for a number of reasons, one of which is the number of gray areas not covered in "the books". This thing, in this particular circumstance, from this child, on this day ....
There really is not a formula.
One of the things that Ellie has trouble with is telling us that she has poop in her diaper. She can just have been making that cute little 'I am pooping' face, staring right at you and then promptly deny that it produced anything.
You can say, "Ellie, do you have a poopoo? Do you need a new diaper?"
She will look at you and say "no".
"Really, Ellie," I respond, "Are you sure? Because if you did and you told mommy that you didn't that would not be honest. You wouldn't want to lie to mommy."
"No poo poo, just pee" she says with great predictability.
"Ellie. Here's the thing, somebody in the room pooped and as you are the only one with a diaper on I am really hoping it was you."
We go change the diaper and I debate on various days the extent to which I want to try to teach this lesson at this age.
Recently a family we knew came up in conversation. Their schedules are full, they have more children than we do, their house is tidy, their kids are clean .... we were admiring that. Someone remarked "They run a pretty tight ship over there." Maggie and I had toddlers crawling over us dressed in their self-chosen cacophony while we sat on a rug that had not been vacuumed since I do not know when, toys strung about, a basket of unfolded laundry was probably on the couch. I looked around and asked, "What kind of ship are we running here?"
"The Ship of Grace! That's it", we laughed.
And I do hope we are! I hope when both of you read my blog or when my conversations are overheard that the thing most felt is grace. Because I believe Jesus covered the sins of the murderer and the sins of the gossiper alike. I believe that the cross satisfies for adultery, the struggle of homosexuality, the addictions of pornography or alcohol or whatever else. I believe, if asked, Jesus is happy to cart every one of those (and the thousands in myself that I am blind to) away from the judgement seat of God.
But we have to own them first.
We have to admit that we didn't make it to the potty.
Jealousy? "No, not me."
Control? "I don't think so."
Discontent? "No, Lord, that's not my diaper - must be someone else's that you smell."
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